Teenage love can be loud, exciting and unforgettable, especially when it transforms after leaving the high school hallways.
The term high school sweethearts is defined by the Urban Dictionary as a relationship sustained throughout and after high school and further on to marriage. While the idea sounds rather fundamental, the reality of these relationships changes with time. They are unique early on due to excitement and pressure caused by school centered lives. Upper Arlington High School alums and high school sweethearts of 36 years Brian and Kelle DuPont described how their relationship changed after leaving the high school.
“I think we have a very similar love for each other,” Brian DuPont said.
However growing up and starting a family comes with more responsibilities.
“It’s a lot more complex of a situation, trying to juggle getting the kids around and all of their responsibilities and raising them,” Brian DuPont said.
Part of what plays into the ease of most high school relationships is the geography and schedule. Students dating other students of the same school means they must live in the same town or city. Also, having the stability of a school schedule often means students may see their partner daily.
As the responsibility of students increases, their relationship is tested in new ways; graduation, jobs, leaving for college and personal growth are all things that force a relationship to adapt or struggle. Abigail Yates, a licensed independent marriage and family therapist supervisor (IMFTS) in the state of Ohio explained what a healthy way to resolve conflict looks like.
“A healthy way to handle conflict is to address it directly, and you should be polite and kind and considerate of your partner, but you should not avoid or hide the conflict,” Yates said.
While this approach is often developed with maturity and experience, many teenage relationships understand how to communicate emotions and boundaries. Junior Anna Mowry shared a similar statement.
“For teenage relationships I feel like communication is the biggest part about staying together. I know a lot of people who don’t communicate and it causes a lot of problems,” Mowry said.
In teenage relationships emotions often move faster than experience, making conflict feel super personal and harder to navigate. This is different from an adult romantic relationship, where both people have more maturity and experience. This contrast shows how teenage love is often very rooted in emotion, while long-term relationships rely more heavily on patience and understanding.
“What I’ve noticed among high schoolers when they’re dating is that their emotions are very intense and very up and down, and there’s a lot of very extreme feelings,” Yates said. “They don’t necessarily have a lot of context or perspective for the things that they’re feeling. They just don’t entirely know how to put those feelings into a set of healthy habits and behaviors.”
Although high school relationships may begin with excitement, their evolution reveals how relationships change as responsibilities grow. Regardless of the outcome, relationships formed in these four years remain an important lesson essential for understanding love after the UAHS hallways.
