With two older siblings who went through the same elementary school, middle school, and high school as I, it can be really easy to follow in their footsteps and not create my own path. I call this phenomenon “the hand-me-down effect.” My mom always made sure that I would never get hand-me-downs from my brother or my sister, not that I was expected to wear any of my sister’s old clothes anyway. With this, she always encouraged us to be our own people, just like how she wanted us all to have our own clothes. Now, I’m not discounting reusing clothes– I received my fair share of hand-me-downs from my brother and still do, but my mom simply values the concept of having your things that are yours and no one else’s.
I have been a natural leader since childhood. My first moment of my leadership shining through was when I was seven years old and, unbeknownst to my mom or dad, was asked to speak at my Aunt Beth and Uncle Jay’s wedding. Now, while I have no clear recollection of what I said, I’m sure it wasn’t anything groundbreaking.
My next memory of my efforts to be a leader is in the fifth grade. I remember having to speak in front of the class when attempting to be elected as BizTown President. I hung up posters, handed out stickers that I’d handmade the night before, and even formed a group of my very own campaign managers. To be quite honest, my public speaking has come a long way since then. I vividly recall my trembling voice and my sweaty palms as I clasped onto the paper trying to get my words out. While I didn’t quite get the presidential position I’d hoped for and instead was appointed ‘bag designer’ at 31 Gifts, I discovered a lot about myself in the process. I learned that if I try for something and I put all of my effort in, then there’s no point in being upset about the outcome if it doesn’t go my way.
The hand-me-down effect has appeared in many aspects of my life. I started high school in arguably the weirdest time one could start high school. I was sort of having trouble discovering what I wanted to do or who I wanted to be. I had always wanted to ‘leave my mark’ in some way, but at the time didn’t truly know how. I found myself trying to fit in someone else’s shoes and walk the same steps as them, rather than creating my own journey. My aspiration towards being a leader, however, was something that never left me.
My most important moment of leadership in high school was trying out to be class president. I occasionally reflect on the video I sent in; I was wearing a gray sports coat with a white t-shirt and a Vallery Ford trucker hat talking about why I, of all people, should be the president of the class. Fortunately, my peers looked through this façade and recognized me for who I truly was and wanted to be: a leader. This was my first time in high school where I felt like I was finally starting to become the person I’ve always known I was.
From that point on, I began taking more and more chances and never really looked back. Without the silly attempt of a toast as a seven-year-old or the venture for BizTown President, I wouldn’t be who I am today. I’ve learned that life is about taking risks, as that’s the only way you’ll ever feel satisfaction in the reward.
If I had one piece of advice for whoever made it this far into my story, remember not to be someone else’s hand-me-down. It has taken me my entire, incredibly fast, 18 years of life to understand this concept. Just like my mom and her unique views on clothes for her kids, I’ve come to realize the importance of wearing my own identity and not someone else’s– allowing me to flourish into the leader I have become today.
