The stack of multi-colored papers in the College Center is all I see when I close my eyes at night. In fact, even thinking about the word “college” induces a panic attack for me. Flashes of yellow, pink, and blue loom in my mind as I ponder what the hell I’m going to do in the future.
Senior year is one of many questions: “where are you going to college?” “what major did you pick?” “have you submitted your applications yet?” The unfairness of it all hangs in the balance, as the only question I’m contemplating is “how am I supposed to figure all of this out at my age?”
At the young age of 17, the list of things that I can’t do goes on and on. I can’t vote, smoke, drink, buy lottery tickets, rent a car, or buy a hotel room. I am, however, expected to lay out my entire future before me. And of course, I’m aware that this isn’t my final decision. People change their majors all the time and sometimes don’t even do anything with the degree that they’re given. Nonetheless, as soon as I mention that I’m a senior in high school to anyone, they immediately expect me to detail the next ten years of my life for them.
There’s a big expectation that everyone goes to college right after high school, especially in a community like Upper Arlington where the majority of people do. I’ve always known that I wanted to go to college, but it makes me think about the others that don’t. It seems like career centers and other job options often get pushed to the side in terms of importance, and all people care about is what “top” school you’re going to. The amount of stress that I’m put under must be amplified for people choosing other career paths.
Moreover, the cost of college has been consistently rising each year. College tuition inflation averaged 12% annually from 2010 to 2022, according to a study done by Education Data Initiative. Additionally, the average cost of college in the United States is $36,436 per student per year. However, as I’ve been researching colleges over the past couple months I’ve found that a lot of my top schools exceed the $60,000 range per year. I’ve had to deny my dream schools, which could’ve set me up for immense success because of a price tag on a college website. It can also often feel like a comparison in a community like Upper Arlington, where a lot of people don’t have to worry about money. I’ve had to have many conversations with classmates, discussing our top schools, but I’ve always had to underscore it with “Oh, I think it’s too expensive for me.”
As for majors, the options are seemingly endless. I’ve always been ambitious; overloading my plate with clubs, work, and never saying no to a hangout. My interests range from writing, to music, to history, to business. Having to pick just one of those areas to focus on is highly overwhelming. I’ve been asked countless times about what I want to study in college, and my answer differs every time. In fact, my mom told me to just start lying in response, and saying I want to do something absurd- the suggestions ranged from astronauts, dog walkers, or fortune cookie writers. With every question, I find myself leaning more toward that option. If I tell people what I really want to do, which I think is finding a job in journalism, I often get a half-grimace, followed by “oh, it’s a dying business though.” That, of course, is extremely reassuring to hear. The judgments placed on you by others only add to the stress of the college admissions process.
On the other hand, I know that choosing to go to college is the right fit for me. I look forward to the independence I will have in choosing my classes, making new friends, and joining new extracurriculars. Whatever school I go to will have enough options for me to never get bored. I’m open to going anywhere; my long list of schools range from California, to Ohio, to Maine. I just hope that wherever I go, I’m happy.
This year is full of a lot of lasts. Last Homecoming, choir concerts, football games, and school lunch with my friends. I want to cherish it; I want to stay in the moment rather than anxiously awaiting my future. The talk in the hallways or classrooms about what life will be like after high school serves as a constant reminder that things won’t be the same. While I’m excited for the next step forward, I don’t want to lose track of what’s happening right now. For us seniors, the future is uncertain. Some of us don’t know where we are going to end up after May 23.
So, as application deadlines rapidly approach us, I want you to know that it’s okay to not have it figured out. Everyone is on their own path, and you are not alone. While it may seem like everyone has it under control, trust me, we (or at least I) don’t.
